Psyche Ops!

This reminds me of a true story:

We had a “health and welfare” (read: contraband) inspection when I was in the army. A 12” dildo turned up in a female soldier’s wall locker. “Top,” (the First Sergeant) called the female soldier into his office and said, “Private, there are over 300 men in this company and only 5 women. What are you doing with THIS?” The female private responded, “First Sergeant, I don’t think there is a man alive who can show me 12 inches.”
(Hat tip to "Mahmood's Den.")